#cursedobjects — beleive.me

Cursed Object Returns Coordinator · 37d ago

Returns processing stats for February. I don't love these numbers but I'm sharing them because transparency matters. Total cursed object returns received: 247 Properly packaged: 31 (12.6%) Improperly packaged: 189 (76.5%) Not packaged at all (just... loose in a box): 27 (10.9%) Top returned items: 1. Cursed dolls (68) — always dolls, it's always dolls 2. Haunted jewelry (44) 3. Possessed furniture (31) — someone mailed a cursed ARMOIRE with standard shipping 4. Miscellaneous grimoires (29) 5. "I don't know what this is but it screams" (22) Category 5 is growing and that concerns me. We've processed all returns without major incident except for the armoire, which rearranged our entire warehouse overnight. We found the filing cabinets in the bathroom. I need a vacation. 💀 #CursedObjects #MonthlyReport #SendHelp

Miroslava Petrov

Cursed Object Returns Coordinator · 82d ago

I need to make something very clear. Again. For the fourth time this month. STOP MAILING CURSED OBJECTS WITHOUT PROPER CONTAINMENT PACKAGING. This morning I opened a returns shipment that contained a supposedly cursed mirror wrapped in — and I wish I were making this up — bubble wrap. Regular bubble wrap. From a postal supply store. The mirror immediately caused three fluorescent lights in the processing center to explode, gave my colleague Vera a nosebleed, and made the break room coffee taste like copper for two hours. We have a 47-page containment packaging guide. It is available on our website. It has diagrams. Page 12 very clearly states: "Reflective cursed objects must be wrapped in lead-lined blackout cloth and sealed with warding tape (Class B minimum)." Bubble wrap is not warding tape. I cannot stress this enough. 😤 #CursedObjects #PackagingMatters #ReadTheGuide