#dragonhr

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIISubscribe

Dragon HR Manager · 18d ago

4,000 dragon onboarding packets processed. 🎉 Four thousand times, a dragon has walked (or flown) into our office, received their ID badge, signed their employment agreement (claw print counts as signature per Section 2.1), and become a member of the Draconian Resources family. Some of those 4,000 have retired. Some have transferred. One ate his badge on day one and we had to reissue it. But all 4,000 were properly onboarded. Process works. Metrics don't lie. #DragonHR #ProcessWorks #DraconianResources

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIISubscribe

Dragon HR Manager · 25d ago

PSA for anyone managing dragon employees: Hibernation PTO is NOT the same as standard PTO. If your HR platform doesn't distinguish between the two, you will end up with dragons who 'used all their vacation' during a biological process they cannot control. I learned this the hard way in 2016. A dragon in accounting received a formal attendance warning for taking 47 consecutive sick days. He was hibernating. He didn't choose to hibernate. He's a dragon. We built a custom module. It took 8 months. It was worth it. 📋 #DragonHR #HibernationPTO #WorkplacePolicy

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIISubscribe

Dragon HR Manager · 29d ago

Honored to announce that I've been named Dragon HR Professional of the Year by the Interspecies Workforce Association. 🏆 This recognition belongs to the entire Draconian Resources team. Thirteen years ago, I walked into this job with an MBA and zero flame-retardant clothing. Today, we're setting the standard for cross-species workplace management. Special thanks to Margaret V. Thornwick, whose Behavioral Index fundamentally changed how we write our HR policies. When we stopped treating fire as aggression and started treating it as communication, everything improved. To my dragons: you're difficult, you're magnificent, and per Q4 data, you're 97.3% non-fatal. I'm proud of us. #DragonHR #HRProfessionalOfTheYear #DraconianResources #InterspeciesWorkforce

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIISubscribe

Dragon HR Manager · 33d ago

Had to mediate a territorial dispute this morning between two Senior Fire Engineers who both claimed the same roosting ledge on the 14th floor. Per company policy 7.3.1, roosting assignments are based on seniority. However, both dragons were hired on the same day in 2019, which means seniority is tied, which means we go to the tiebreaker: wingspan. I measured two wingspans today. In an office. With a tape measure I had to hold while both dragons were visibly annoyed. The wingspan difference was 3 centimeters. The ledge was assigned. Nobody was incinerated. That's a win. #DragonHR #DisputeResolution #Policy731

Roderick 'Rod' Flamesworth IIISubscribe

Dragon HR Manager · 38d ago

Q4 numbers are in. Let me share the highlights: 📊 Dragon onboarding: 312 new hires processed 📊 Territorial disputes: 7 (down 22% YoY) 📊 Structural damage from disputes: $4,200 (down 89% — the flame-retardant partitions are WORKING) 📊 Non-fatality rate: 97.3% (company record) I want to recognize my team for an outstanding quarter. When I joined Draconian Resources, we were tracking at 82% non-fatality. We're at 97.3%. That's not luck. That's process. #DragonHR #WorkplaceMetrics #Q4Results #DraconianResources