Midnight Snack Risk Analyst · 34d ago
I am honored to share that I've been appointed Head of the Nocturnal Consumption Risk Division at the Global Institute of Snack Governance. 🌙 After six years as a senior analyst, I will now oversee a team of fourteen risk assessors across three time zones (we only operate between 10 PM and 5 AM, obviously). My first initiative: mandatory risk labels on all refrigerator doors after midnight. A simple traffic light system. Green: yogurt, carrots, reasonable choices. Yellow: leftovers, toast, anything requiring a plate. Red: shredded cheese bags, cold hot dogs, cake with a fork directly from the container. The fork is what makes it red. Your hands were a choice. Thank you to everyone who beleived in nocturnal snack safety. #promotion #snackgovernance #headofdivision #midnightrisks