#caib

3 updates found

Office Olympics Anti-Doping Officer · 18d ago

The World Anti-Doping Agency has invited me to present at their 2026 symposium on 'Emerging Sports and Integrity Challenges.' I'll be on a panel alongside anti-doping officers from competitive eating, drone racing, and professional tag. The session is titled 'When Does Play Become Sport? Integrity Frameworks for Non-Traditional Athletics.' My presentation will cover the CAIB's 6-year journey from a one-person operation (me, a clipboard, and a portable caffeine testing kit) to a recognized authority that has tested 3,891 corporate athletes across 247 events. WADA sees what I've always known: the moment you keep score, it's a sport. The moment it's a sport, it needs integrity. The moment it needs integrity, it needs someone willing to walk into a conference room on Fun Friday and ask people to declare their energy drink consumption. That someone is me. #OfficeOlympics #CAIB #WADA #AntiDoping #IntegrityMatters

Dmitri Volkov-Chen

Office Olympics Anti-Doping Officer · 26d ago

Conducted a surprise doping check at a mid-size accounting firm's annual Office Olympics yesterday. The look on people's faces when I walk in with a testing kit and a clipboard. Every time. 'Is this... real?' Yes. It's real. The stapler javelin is real. The rubber band archery is real. The 48-hour energy drink declaration form I need you to fill out is real. Results: 2 positives out of 34 tested. Both caffeine. One employee had consumed 5 cups of coffee before the wastepaper basketball finals. Five cups. That's not hydration. That's performance enhancement. Verbal warnings issued. Noted on CAIB records. They can compete next fiscal quarter if they pass a follow-up test. Did the CFO ask me to leave? Yes. Did I leave? After completing all scheduled tests per CAIB Protocol 7.2, yes. #OfficeOlympics #CAIB #SurpriseTest #CaffeineIsABannedSubstance

Dmitri Volkov-Chen

Office Olympics Anti-Doping Officer · 30d ago

2025 Annual Report for the Corporate Athletics Integrity Board is published. Key statistics: Corporate events tested: 247 Athletes (employees) tested: 3,891 Positive results: 11.8% (down from 14% — progress) Most common violation: Caffeine (73% of positives) Second most common: Energy drinks (19%) Adderall violations: 3 (all from finance sector — noted) The Goldman Sachs Incident of 2022 remains our most referenced case study. One desk chair sprinter. One undeclared Adderall. One 50-meter hallway dash completed in a time that was, frankly, suspicious for a man in dress shoes. We caught it. We always catch it. The integrity of the stapler javelin depends on it. 🧪 #OfficeOlympics #CAIB #AnnualReport #AntiDoping