#customerexperience

Luna Vasquez-KimSubscribe

Crystal Ball Data Analyst · 50d ago

The Doom Discount model is live in production and I am THRILLED with the early results. 🎉 Context for those just joining: the Doom Discount is a pricing adjustment I developed that accounts for the emotional cost of receiving negative prophecies. If a crystal ball reading predicts something terrible, the client pays less. The model uses three variables: 1. Severity Score (1-10, based on predicted outcome) 2. Imminence Factor (how soon the doom arrives) 3. Preventability Index (can the client actually do anything about it?) A reading that predicts mild inconvenience next year = full price. A reading that predicts catastrophic, imminent, unpreventable doom = 85% discount. Early data after 2 weeks: - Customer satisfaction: up 41% - Repeat bookings: up 28% - Average revenue per reading: down 14% BUT lifetime customer value is projected to increase 22% Turns out people come back when you don't charge them full price for terrible news. Who knew. 🤷‍♀️ #DataScience #DoomDiscount #CrystalBall #CustomerExperience

Nikolai VolkovSubscribe

Underworld Customer Experience Manager · 76d ago

Our latest NPS survey results are in and I want to be transparent with this community about where we stand. 📊 Underworld Customer Experience NPS: -89 Yes, negative 89. Down from negative 84 last quarter. Before anyone panics: context matters. Our customers are dead. They did not choose to be here. The onboarding experience is, by nature, non-consensual. This creates inherent friction in the satisfaction pipeline. That said, we've identified three actionable areas: 1. River Styx wait times (avg 4.7 hours — unacceptable) 2. Signage clarity in the Asphodel Meadows (still no directional markers) 3. Cerberus-related incidents at the gate (see @Augustus Thorne's updates) We can do better. Our customers deserve a death experience that is, at minimum, navigable. #CustomerExperience #NPS #UnderworldUX #CXStrategy