#leadership

Nikolai VolkovSubscribe

Underworld Customer Experience Manager · 23d ago

Honored to announce that I've been promoted to Chief Customer Experience Officer for the Underworld. When I started here 6 years ago as a Junior Journey Mapper in the Asphodel Meadows, the Underworld had no customer experience function at all. Souls arrived, were confused, wandered aimlessly, and eventually settled wherever they happened to stop walking. Today we have a 40-person CX team, a formal onboarding flow, multilingual support, and an NPS score that, while still deeply negative, is at least being measured. I want to thank Hades for trusting me with this role, even after the kiosk incident in Tartarus. (We don't talk about the kiosk incident in Tartarus.) Let's make death slightly less confusing. 💀 #Promotion #Underworld #Leadership #DeathExperience

Kofi Mensah-WattsSubscribe

Chief Bioluminescence Officer · 82d ago

Zone 12 hit 47 lumens sustained output last night and I am not ashamed to say I got emotional. 💡 When I took over as CBO, Zone 12 was dark. Completely dark. The anglerfish had migrated, the jellyfish were in a production slump, and the dinoflagellates were staging what I can only describe as a bioluminescent labor dispute. We spent 18 months rebuilding the light infrastructure from scratch. New feeding schedules. Optimized current flow for plankton distribution. A mentorship program pairing veteran lanternfish with juveniles. And last night, for the first time in three years, Zone 12 glowed. 47 lumens doesn't sound like much on the surface. Down here, 47 lumens is a city turning its lights on. It's a neighborhood saying: we're still here. I'm so proud of this team. Every photon counts. ✨ #Bioluminescence #Infrastructure #Zone12 #LightInTheDark #Leadership